Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
