Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
