She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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