I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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