No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
