nut hugger
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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