If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
