i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
