batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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