he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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