is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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