There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
