Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
