Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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