You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
