New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
