i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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