things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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