You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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