This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
