Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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