If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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