Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
