I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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