i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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