Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
