hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
