i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Randomize
