Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
