you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
