weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
