So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
