Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize