I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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