smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
