did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
