the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
