i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Is it because I queefed?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
