i can't believe i had my finger in that
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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