Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dick very happy bro
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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