Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
And then my night got REAL pukey
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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