Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
