Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
