return my video game
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
