so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
