Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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