Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
