Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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