i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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