You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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