the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
True strength comes from lack of pants
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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