people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have aggressive nipples.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
