when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
