There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
