my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
