Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
