Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Randomize
