You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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