You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Randomize