She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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